This will be a series of stories about Chief Jeff. Chief was a walking accident. I like to think the Navy promoted him to a place where he could do the least amount of damage, but then I'd be insulting the chiefs. Well he could have been an "O". Sorry FJ.

In September of 1997 I was stationed at EODMU-7. (Explosive Ordnance Disposal Mobile Unit 7) I was part of an Area Search Detachment. Basically we played Jacque Cousteau using side scan sonar and remotely operated vehicles.

When Capt. Craig Buttons flew his A-10 into the mountain at Gold Dust Peak in Colorado in April of that year the Air Force was concerned that he may have dropped his general purpose bombs in the alpine lakes on Gold Dust Peak. This is where we came in. We could search the lakes using our technology and our divers.

Well the first day up the mountain was basically a dog and pony show. Every MSM network was flying up after us to video and do an interview. So off we go.

While there was a lull in the action Chief decides he needs to take a dump. Well lo and behold he didn't have any toilet paper. Instead of ripping his t-shirt in half or using a sock or two our industrious Chief decides to use some of the local vegetation. Not only does this not do the job but he smears s*it all over his back. Then proceeds to bury his underwear in the nearby brush. Concerned that the skipper might be wondering where he is, Chief meanders down to the Mark V (that's a small rubber boat). He walks up behind me and starts lending a hand.

I kind of get a whiff of something foul and start to sniff the air. Then I start complaining about the smell.

Chief says "Can you smell that?"

EB: "WHAT is that?"

Chief: "uh uh it's me.."

EB: "Get off the boat, go somewhere else".

Meanwhile CNN,CBS,NBC all of them are landing by CH-47.

A female reporter walks up to Chief to ask him a question.

She started sniffing the air.

You should have seen the look on her face. Priceless.


Needless to say this was a caseable offense.